Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap

Aaa… Memories of childhood.

Note to parents. Never threaten what you are not willing to follow through upon.

First, let me say that I am the third child of three and there is 3.5 years difference between me and my next siblings age. So, needless to say, I was influenced by my older siblings who where more advanced in language, attitude and well… filters.

I say this because at some point I got myself in trouble with MOM by saying “bad words.” Even though I do not remember what it was I said nor do I remember the circumstances of why I was saying them nor who put me up to it or influenced me… I do remember the result, vividly.

When bad language was used, my mother would say “stop that or I will wash your mouth out with soap.” Something my older sister loved was to see me in trouble. She would mimic my mothers threat… “OOOooooh, you’re gonna get your mouth washed out with soooooap. 

Note: My sister is six years older than me. 

Back to mom. Was she reeeealy going to wash my mouth out with soap? I’m not sure I was old enough to assess the threat. I would most likely have taken it at face value. However, I do remembering thinking about exactly how that would work. Was that something that would kill me? But… even so, it seems I ignored the warning because I soon found myself standing in the kitchen with a bar of soap in my mouth. Yup. Little me standing in the kitchen with a bar of soap in my mouth and my big sister having a great old time relishing my punishment.

Have you ever had a bar of soap in your mouth? Try not to swallow or taste it. Hmmm. Years later when reminiscing the event with my mother she shared with me that she was horrified (one of her favorite words) that she went through with it. 

Hey, but the lesson stuck.

So, was it that I suffered having a bar of soap in my mouth or that I now knew that my mother meant what she said? Frankly, the bar of soap punishment was scarier in thought then practice. In other words… not too bad. But I did learn mom would follow through and that was something to remember.

And that is the point of this blog. Parents, don’t threaten what you are not willing to follow through with. What good does it do if you teach your kids you do not mean what you say? Idle threats. No good. So rather than being dramatic and saying something you don’t (or even cannot) follow through with I suggest you stick with simple things that demonstrate you mean what you say.

Oh, and by the way… counting down doesn’t work either. “stop that in three, two, one…” No. Simply state the issue – Stop doing X.” Then give a warning depending upon the age of the child. Then follow through without malice. I say without malice because a parent should not discipline out of anger. It sends a whole different set of messages,  which maybe I’ll save for another blog.

My mother always kept her cool outwardly. She didn’t really loose her cool too much, again outwardly. We learned that if we did something wrong… she gave us the correction… we knew we better straighten up.

Keep in mind that I am describing a process and not trying to describe that we were any kind of angels. The opposite was probably true given the sibling fighting and/or the age differences. Always something going on.

Parents. Keep it simple. Dont loose your cool. State the consequences for behavior, then follow through without emotion. And remember, it is a long-term process. The first few times may not have an effect, but the training will kick in when they understand you mean what you say and you do what you say.

A lesson they will learn AND incorporate within their own character – if you are lucky. 🙂 Keep your eye on the big picture.

Oh, and even though it worked, I don’t recommend the soap thing!

or do I?… 🙂